And by "alternative", we mean "X-rated", of course.
Here are our favorite XXX ways to say it straight on Valentine's Day!
1: SHIT, BOO, YOU IS FINE.
2: I'M NO WEATHERMAN, BUT YOU CAN EXPECT MORE THAN A FEW INCHES TONIGHT.
3: THANKS FOR ALL OF THE ORGASMS!
4: I PROMISE TO ALWAYS BE BY YOUR SIDE.
...OR UNDER YOU.
...OR ON TOP OF YOU.
5: I LOVE YOU FOR YOUR PERSONALITY, BUT THAT ASS IS REALLY A NICE BONUS.
6: IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY, SO I'VE RINSED AROUND THE KEY AREAS FOR YOU. ENJOY!
7: GET NAKED!
...I HAVE A PLAN
8: I LOVE YOU MORE THAN KANYE LOVES KANYE.
9: I LOVE FUCKING YOU.
...I MEAN, I FUCKING LOVE YOU!
10. JUST A REMINDER....
...I CAN USE MY TONGUE FOR MORE THAN JUST SEALING THIS ENVELOPE.
A reminder! If you're including a gift with that card, stock up on sexy gifts and take 15% off your purchase with code VDAY2020 at checkout! February 11th is the last day to order in time for V-Day!